Nigella Lawson is internationally known for celebrating the home cook through cooking shows and cookbooks. In a recent interview on NPR she talked about cooking with her children. Through this shared activity, Nigella said she gave her children attention with a small 'a'-- combining a physical activity with conversation lifted some of the intensity. Her children talked freely without feeling pressured and conversations flowed.
It reminded me that children often feel uncomfortable with adults or questions that are in their face-- attention with a capital 'A.' They become silent, look for ways to put distance between them and the questioner. The intensity is too great.
How often as parents have we had our best conversations with our children while driving home from a late night game, or while taking a walk, any routine task done together.
Adult attention is important for development of healthy humans, but it might be good to back off on the intensity. As a parent or an adult who works with children, giving them the small 'a' they need may also have a positive affect on your own stress level-- relieving the expectation that everything should be done with a capital letter.
It reminded me that children often feel uncomfortable with adults or questions that are in their face-- attention with a capital 'A.' They become silent, look for ways to put distance between them and the questioner. The intensity is too great.
How often as parents have we had our best conversations with our children while driving home from a late night game, or while taking a walk, any routine task done together.
Adult attention is important for development of healthy humans, but it might be good to back off on the intensity. As a parent or an adult who works with children, giving them the small 'a' they need may also have a positive affect on your own stress level-- relieving the expectation that everything should be done with a capital letter.
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